Before we look at acceptance therapy let’s take a look at the difference between acceptance and resignation. You might be thinking, “Aren’t they the same thing?” But actually they are very different.

The word resignation is derived from the Old French word resigner. It means to “give up”, “relinquish”, “abandon” or “To give oneself up” to an emotion or situation. 

Resignation is recognising the impossibility of the situation but still wanting it to be different. There is a sense of struggle, powerlessness, and lack of control. This is a stuck place, with no way forward and no way back.

Acceptance on the other hand is about choice. It comes from the word acquiesce (1610-20), the Latin word is acquiescere, “To Find Rest.” Instead of getting caught up in the “if onlys” or feeling like a victim in life, you “choose to let go” of what is beyond your control.

This is a key principle of  ACT; the foundation of Acceptance Therapy. It utilises mindfulness skills to help you connect with the present moment, and engage with emotions like gratitude, peace, joy, satisfaction and contentment. You also discover and connect with your values, what matters to you, and take steps towards a future you want.

MOVING TOWARDS ACCEPTANCE 

What you can learn from Bill Murray’s character in Ground Hog Day! Haven’t watched it yet, check out the trailer here.

Bills character keeps waking up to the exact same day, in a town he loathes. This goes on for almost a year, as he tries every conceivable way to change his situation or numb the experience. It was when he came to a place of acceptance that his life began to move forward again. 

THE BENEFITS OF ACCEPTANCE THERAPY

♥   Find meaning and purpose 

As you let go of what you can’t control you are able to reorientate your life towards what you can control.  

♥   Become fully present 

Notice and appreciate the small things. E.g. being attentive to what a loved one is saying, enjoying a piece of music, feeling the crispness of a winter’s day, or the joy of hearing someone laugh uncontrollably.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. ~ Melody Beattie

♥   Reconnecting with your inner values 

Identify what matters to you over what is expected of you. As an adult you may have forgotten, lost sight of or be unaware of what matters most to you.

♥   Develop more compassion towards yourself and others 

Recognise the power of your words. Learn how to be kind to yourself and to the people you meet. This can be as simple as a smile, a kind word, or a listening ear to lift and encourage the people you meet in the course of your daily life.

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

Adversity is a normal part of the life journey. It is painful at times, but it is also an opportunity for personal growth. There is an old wives saying, “bitter or better”. The former is when life happens to you, the latter is letting go of what is beyond your control, so you can move forward with meaning and purpose again. This is where peace, rest and love reside.