Christmas is traditionally a time of celebration, meeting of family and friends, delicious food, and giving of gifts. Everywhere we see messages of happiness and connection. Yet, this time of the year can put a lot of stress on relationships, with increased numbers of break-ups and divorce. And for those who have lost a loved one, Christmas grief can make the holiday season especially lonely and challenging.

There are constant reminders of what is missing in your life, and this can cause a see-saw of emotions as memories of Christmas’s past come to mind. In particular, leading up to Christmas, people ask “What are you doing for Christmas?”, or “Who are you spending Christmas with?” These are questions that cause you to revisit the loss again and again.

You may have noticed a tendency to push emotions and memories away. Its as if you are holding them at arm’s length so you don’t have to feel the pain. But this can result in a tipping point of overwhelm down the track. Or getting so caught up in the emotions and memories that you are unable to focus on anything in the present moment. I liken this to getting stuck in a powerful whirlpool – it sucks in everything it touches, causing you to feel withdrawn and to isolate yourself from family and friends.

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on. ~ Havelock Ellis

HOW TO EASE THE PAIN OF CHRISTMAS GRIEF

♥  Be mindful about how you’re feeling – Here are a couple of ways you can do this.

1. Share your feelings. It is important to deal with your emotions when they come up. You can do this by talking to someone you trust and feel comfortable with or writing in a journal. 

There is no grief like the grief that does not speak. ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

2. Don’t put pressure on yourself to put on the “I’m Okay” mask. There are times when you need to put it on, but wearing it all the time will become exhausting. Accept that it’s normal not to feel so great at this time of the year, and that those closest to you will understand this too.