If you are reading this blog you know the excruciating pain of pet loss. You haven’t just lost your pet you have lost your friend, companion and family member.

Our most recent loss was this year when we made the difficult decision to euthanise our little Gold Coast cat Cheetah who was almost 20 years old. Over my life time I have lost many beloved cats and my one and only dog, Chloe (pictured above).

I hope the following tips will provide you some support and comfort with your grief and any difficult decisions you might be facing.  

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened. ~ Anatole France

COPING TIPS FOR PET LOSS

1/ Is it normal to hurt so much?

Yes! There is nothing silly, crazy, or too sentimental about grieving!

Your furry little friend played a significant role in your life. So it brought you comfort, support, joy, and unconditional acceptance. It is normal to experience all sorts of emotions; shock, denial, fear, anxiety, anger and many more. It really can feel like you are going crazy. 

2/ How do I cope with the emotions?

It is important to allow yourself to feel the emotions. 

Burying your emotions won’t help them pass. You need to express them! It’s ok for to feel distress and despair, and painful feelings of guilt and anger. Someone you loved has passed away, your feelings of loneliness and grief are real. 

It can be tempting to distract yourself from thinking about your pet, and at times this can be useful. But only long enough to give yourself some space to breathe. The fact is unexpressed emotions will impact on your emotional and physical health, at the very least sapping your energy and motivation. 

Here are some strategies other pet owners have found helpful:

♥   Reminisce on the great times you shared. In doing this, you allow yourself to know what your pet loss means for you. 

♥   Share their emotions and feelings in stories, poems or letters to their pet. 

♥   Rearrange your schedule to fill up the days that you’d have normally spent with your pet. 

♥   Prepare a memorial like a photograph collage, and speaking to other people about your loss.

3/ Who do I speak to?

Remember you are not alone, most pet owners have experienced what you are going through. Hopefully, you have loved ones or friends who love pets. Choose someone you genuinely feel comfortable with, someone who is comfortable with your tears. The best thing for you right now is to express exactly how much your pet meant to you and how much you miss them.

If you don’t have friends or family to talk to then seek the help of a counsellor. Your grief is very real. 

4/ When do I euthanize?

Assess your pet’s wellbeing honestly and unselfishly together with your vet. You might feel it is the wrong time if they are eating well, responding to you and still being playful. However, if your pet is in constant pain, receiving stressful treatments to prolong their survival and not fully aware of its environment you need to consider what is best for them. It really is the last act of love that you are able to make for your cherished companion.

5/ Do I stay during euthanization?

There are a number of options after your pet has passed. Things to keep in mind when you are making this decision are your living circumstances, personal and spiritual values, finances, and future plans. 

♥   Whether you pet dies at home or at the clinic you can request the vet take care of the remains. For some people this feels less distressing, especially if your pet was enthanized. 

♥   Many people like to bury their pet at home. It is more economical and you can chose the style of funeral. It might be as simple as choosing a shady spot under a tree, planting a special tree to mark the site or something more elaborate. Of course this might not be practical if you move a lot.

♥   Cremation is another affordable option. You can scatter their ashes in a favorite place, infuse them into decorative glass or keep them in a decorative urn. 

7/ What about my children?

8/ What about my other pets?

It is common for friends and family to suggest getting a new pet. However, it takes time to process the loss of a furry friend. So if you are still feeling overwhelmed it would be wise to delay this option. If you do it too soon you may feel that you are being disloyal to your past pet or even resentful they have replaced them. This can be particularly true for children.

Choosing a new pet: When you are ready to get a new furry friend be careful about choosing a “look-a-like” pet. And avoid making comparisons between your new pet and your last one. Its important to allow your new pet to develop its own character.

For strategies on managing grief across the Christmas period Click Here.