“Discussing “what are we” is an important part of creating a shared reality with healthy boundaries and expectations. ” ~ Esther Perel and Mary Alice Miller

Let’s talk about situationships. You might not call it that just yet, but if you’re stuck in a dynamic that feels more confusing than clear, you could be in one.

A situationship sits somewhere between a casual fling and a committed relationship. It might feel like you’re almost there but never quite crossing the finish line into a real partnership. One day, it feels great—you’re vibing, connecting, and maybe even fantasizing about the future. The next day? Silence. Ambiguity. Mixed signals that leave you questioning everything.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. 

Situationships are everywhere these days, partly because we’ve normalized “keeping it casual” without really thinking about how that affects our emotional well-being.

Why Situationships Happen

Situationships often begin with good intentions. Maybe you weren’t looking for anything serious at first, or the connection felt too fresh to define. But over time, something shifts. You develop feelings, or you start noticing how much emotional energy you’re putting into this undefined space.

Sometimes, one person in the situationship wants more, while the other prefers to keep things light and undefined. This imbalance creates confusion, self-doubt, and frustration. Sound familiar?

The Emotional Cost of a Situationship

Here’s the thing: situationships are rarely as “low stakes” as they seem. The lack of clarity can leave you stuck in limbo, constantly analyzing every interaction, every text, and every moment. It can start to feel like you’re walking on eggshells, afraid to ask for clarity because you don’t want to scare the other person away.

This uncertainty can mess with your self-worth. You might wonder if you’re asking for too much—or worse, if you’re not enough. But let me be clear: wanting clarity, respect, and reciprocity is never too much.

How to Navigate a Situationship

If you’ve found yourself in a situationship, it’s time to pause and reflect. Here are some steps you can take to regain your power and clarity:

1. Get Honest with Yourself

How does this situationship really make you feel? Are you genuinely okay with the lack of commitment, or are you hoping they’ll eventually want more? Be brutally honest with yourself—this is where clarity begins.

2. Communicate Your Needs 

It can feel vulnerable to bring up “the talk,” but your feelings deserve space. Share your expectations and see if they align with what the other person wants. If they can’t or won’t meet you where you are, it’s better to know now.

3. Set Boundaries

If the situationship is draining you emotionally, it’s okay to take a step back or even walk away. Boundaries aren’t about punishing the other person; they’re about protecting your peace and self-worth.

4. Focus on Yourself

Situationships can make you hyper-focused on the other person. Shift that energy back to yourself. What do you want? What kind of relationship feels healthy and fulfilling to you?

Remember: You Deserve Clarity

At the end of the day, a situationship isn’t inherently bad—if it works for both people and there’s mutual respect and understanding. But if you’re left feeling anxious, unimportant, or stuck, it might be time to ask yourself if this is really what you want.

You deserve a relationship that feels fulfilling and aligned with your values, not one that leaves you second-guessing your worth. If a situationship isn’t giving you that, it might be time to move on.

Your time, energy, and heart are valuable. Don’t settle for ambiguity when you’re worthy of clarity, connection, and commitment.

What’s your experience with situationships? Share on my instagram page —I’d love to hear from you!