Why You Should Stop Living by Other Peoples Values

June 2, 2016 Kerry Sutton

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are". ~ E.E. Cummings

If someone asked you what your values are, would you know how to answer them?

Not sure? Then it's fairly likely that the choices you have made in the past, are the result of unconscious values you have adopted from others. Particularly in your childhood and adolescence.

Maybe you are playing the role you were expected or learned to play.

Let’s take a look at what personal values are often confused with.

Morals and ethics – This is the code of behaviour you have learned as acceptable in the various communities you are a part of. E.g. family, school, work, business, and culture. These are important moral and ethical values. But the personal values we are talking about are not focused on what is good, bad, right or wrong. For example your top six values might be success, justice, connection, industry, generosity, and excitement. Someone else’s might be love, freedom, health, learning, nature, and flexibility.

our personal values are what matters most to YOU

Goals – When you start answering the questions below you might come up with goals as opposed to values.This is because as a society we are largely goals driven and therefore unaware of the values that drive us. Goals are things we want to complete or achieve. Values are like the compass that points the way. You will have large and small goals on your life journey, but it is the compass that will keep you on track with who you want to be along the way. An example of a value is peace, the goal might be to walk on the beach three times a week.

The key benefits of consciously living by Your own values:

  Take control of you life

   Tune-in to your own inner guidance system

   Live a more meaningful and satisfying life

   Experience an increase in motivation

   Have more clarity and focus, so you can focus on what matters


   Discover more self-love, self-acceptance and self-belief

  And most important. Instead of trying to be who you think you should be, you can be yourself

Here are some questions to help you begin the process of identifying your personal values.

You will need to allocate some time, at least an hour when you can spend some time alone:

♦   If there were three rules that EVERYONE had to follow what would they be?

♦   Who do you admire? What specifically do you admire about them?

♦   What do you disapprove of or dislike about other people’s behaviour? How would you act differently?

♦   Think about times when you have been really happy? What values were being met?

From these questions you can begin to form a list. Take your time prioritising these in order of most important to least important. It takes time, but identifying what really matters to you is time well spent.

These values are the essence of who you are - your deepest desires

Lets Talk

If you want to learn more about your key values and how you can create a rich and meaningful life, please call me for a Free 15 minute consultation. We can talk about what is going on for you and I can answer any questions you might have. If I am with a client I will get back to you as soon as I can.

0403 064 874


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